Years ago, picking a spouse was left up to an experienced matchmaker. However, with the romantic era well behind us, popularized by Shakespeare, You are left up to your own devices to choose a spouse.
The first thing you have to do is get your priorities straight. We're talking long term priorities. The thing that lasts is love, and God is love. Therefore, for my list of important aspects in a spouse was the love of God. I wanted someone who loved God above everything else. In order to make sure we believe the same things, I looked for a Catholic.
Now, my grandparents on my mother's side were not both Catholic. But, my grandfather he never got in Grandma's way of going to church. He never even went to church himself. This was not much of a problem for us, children. But, I suppose my grandmother would have been less lonely in church had she a husband to stand by her side when she went.
What, do you suppose is the last thing that should be on you list? If you said appearance, you could be wrong. Let me suggest this. It is the thing that changes the most. Did you guess it? It is your emotions. Now, I'm not saying that emotions don't play a part in finding a spouse. Emotions are very important. If you and your spouse cannot communicate on an emotional level, your marriage is doomed. Emotions, however, cannot be trusted. One moment you are happy, the next moment, you are jealous. Emotions are important, but should not be the basis of a lifetime commitment.
You should go with what your heart says. But that is more than a feeling. It is how you know that God exists. You have faith not from emotions, but from the gifts of the spirit, like knowledge and wisdom. It is wisdom that you will hear in your heart, not emotions.
The next most important thing when you are looking for a spouse is what you have in common. You have probably heard that opposites attract
Well, I like to think of the "opposites" issue more like "complimentary". Where a woman, for instance, might lack logical decision making abilities, the man can make those logical decisions. Or, say a woman is more compassionate and can see in her heart exceptions to the logic for the sake of love. Both are different approaches to interacting, but they complement one another.
Where similar interests are necessary is when all the children have left the roost. While there are children in the family, the children are the focus. You and your spouse are both looking out for the interest of you children. After the children leave, if you don't have a common interest, you and your spouse find your own interests and grow apart.
Hobbies that last are activities like gardening or biking, talents like music or art, interests like entymology or philetaly, traditional games like chess or pool.
Not so important are looks. You have your good looks for about 15 years, 20 if you're lucky. Looks are not a basis to form a permanent relationship. In a 50 year relationship, what will be the basis of the relationship for the last 30 years?
A pretty face can be totally re-arranged after only one unfortunate car accident. Many men have receeding hair lines. Anyone who spends time in the sun (working on a tan) will get wrinkled, leathery skin (think "tanning a hide"). Pregnancy streches a shapely figure, and lower activity in middle age brings about a "gut".